Isaac Newton was quoted by stating, “For every action
there is an equal and opposite reaction.”
What does this mean exactly? That
everything has consequences? That no
matter what you do there will be some sort of reaction to it. The word ‘opposite’ throws me off. If I push something, does that mean it moves
at the same rate I push it (equal reaction) or opposes my pushing and pushes
back (opposite reaction)?
Then
there is the thought, does this just apply to physical/tangible objects or does
this also apply to intangible things such as feelings, emotions, motion, sound,
etc. Knowing that this is a law of “motion”
I conclude that this applies to things that are intangible. But of
course, I look for my answers in the only logical place….the internet.
From
my short research project on the principles of laws of motion I discover the
following in summary of the way I understand it.
·
Action and Reaction are Equal and Opposite
o
“if one object
exerts a force on a second object, the second exerts an equal and oppositely
directed force on the first one.”
(my analytical tendencies were still stuck on the
quote, but I found a good explanation that really helped me understand the
principle of the 3rd law here.)
So, I
often think of the 3rd law of motion when pondering why I do certain
things. I am constantly assessing my reactions,
and re-assessing, and Obsessing about
why I do the things I do, why I can’t control my own reactions. So, back to the internet…I look for how this
principle of action vs. reaction applies to the world of psychology. This was a hard topic to search, but I did
find an interesting topic on Reaction
vs. Response.
For
me, I tend to reply to situations reactively (with ego, defense, emotion,
seclusion etc.) rather than responsively (situation assessment, think before responding,
listen, breath.)
So
how does this apply to Sir Isaac Newton and his laws of motion? The key word here people is REACTION. Most people tend to react to a situation, a
conversation, a “crisis” etc. As humans,
we don’t take the time to be responsive and thoughtful in all situations. It is just not in our nature.
In my
experience, my reactions are psychologically un-healthy and my responsiveness
is an after though – after my ‘reactions’ have already presented themselves and
made a situation worse. This is something
I haven’t always owned – but CHANGE is on the horizon, which is why I’m back to
blogging/writing.
My
reactions tend to come out in the following ways, (to name a few, I’m sure that
other people could add to this list a multitude of reactions that I don’t even
realize are happening)
·
Anger
·
Anxiety
·
Depression
·
Finger-pointing
·
Yelling/arguing
·
Reclusive behaviors
·
Self-Doubt
·
Shopping (trying to feel complete/valued)
·
Justification
·
Blame
·
“Self-Medication” (I use this term loosely)
in the form of
o
Shopping
o
Gossip
o
Alcohol Abuse
o
Over Working
·
Self-Hate
·
Guilt – like I’m being punished for past
poor choices
·
Control
·
Etc. etc. etc.
I notice that I am upset
at myself when I have a reaction, more so than I am at the person I am reacting
to! Because I know there is a better
way!
Some better responses
that I am aware of but don’t think about until I’ve reacted are as follows.
o
Thinking rationally and responding with
discussion
o
If an argument is too heated, calmly
explaining that you will re-visit the topic when both parties have calmed down.
o
Doing productive things rather than
falling into the over-thinking/depressive cycle
o
Working out
o
Painting
o
Drawing
o
Writing
o
Self – care
o
Look at my part in the situation and acknowledge
where I messed up and apologize
o
Look for solutions rather than focus on
what went wrong
o
Take a deep breath and wait to respond
rather than just fly off the handle with unhealthy reactions
Let’s face it, depression
is a bitch and we can’t always control when it decides to rear its ugly head on
us, but for me it is usually situational.
I can ward off those nasty feelings if I’m distracted with what is going
right in my world. But as soon as
something reminds me that my life isn’t perfect, I fall off the deep end. I react to things as though they are the
worst thing in the world and I’m the only one suffering the woes of life. It takes a lot of practice to feel
comfortable in a bad situation. Some
days I feel like a master, but let’s face it, most days I feel like a
failure.
Practice doesn’t
necessarily make perfect as the old saying goes. I prefer the saying “progress, not perfection.” This is a rule that may actually motivate me
in a more positive way instead of constantly striving for perfection. Maybe if I remind myself of this daily I will
be able to become more responsive and less reactive. I may not be able to defy the 3rd law of
motion physically, but I can try to make my natural reactions more conducive to
a healthy relationship by practicing better ways to respond.
My homework:
o
List what I am grateful for today (just
for today) 3 things
o
My coffee that I didn’t have to make
because my hubby made it for me. Thank
you honey bear.
o
Technology which allows me to type my
thoughts instead of writing them. I can
type faster than I can write, and my thoughts are hard to keep up with so typing
helps!
o
The progress my most important relationship
is beginning to make toward a healthier way.
(Not perfection, but improvement!)
