Change for the better

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk1bstD4nY8


This song gives me hope while looking deep for my serenity....That's all I've got today....

Denial is not a river in Africa

"Denial is a symptom of the effects of alcoholism.  Just as alcoholics often deny their drinking problems, many of us who have been affected by this disease deny our problems as well.  Although we may have been living in chaos, worried about our families, full of self-doubt, and spiritually, emotionally, and physically depleted, many of us learned to pretend that everything was just fine."

This is where I am today.  I am at a loss of words (weird) so I will borrow these words to share.

"Today it is important for me to be in an environment in which honesty is practiced.  I don't necessarily launch into a detailed description of my woes or my joys - that isn't always desirable or appropriate - but when asked how I'm doing, I try to ask myself what the real answer is.  This frees me from the habit of denial and gives me choices."

~Courage to Change

A New Day

Today is a new day....I will try to be more positive today than I was yesterday...I'm human just like the rest of you, and yes...I have those weak moments.  That's what this blog is all about. 

Trying to find Serenity and the ugly, crazy, inspiring battle that gets you there...or so I hope.

(Have I mentioned, I'm obviously not there yet!)

I'm officially on that "emotional roller coaster".  Let me off please!

Anyways....let's focus on what I can do to get off that nasty ride, and have a better attitude.

Today I am going to choose to NOT take other peoples actions personally.  The world is not against me.

I can only be a victim if that's the role I choose.  I will NOT be a victim of the ugly world today.

I will accept what I can not change...and only work on changing what I can...ie. my attitude.

Sometimes what I think is a crisis, in the long run, is really just a bump in the road...some bumps are bigger than others...but I have a lot of "shock absorption."  LOL

Quote of my day...
"God asks no man whether he will accept life.  That is not the choice.  You must take it.  The only choice is how."  ~Henry Ward Beecher

Have a great weekend, and here's to positivity!!!

Taking a Stand and Standing Firm

I just want to briefly say that in life things happen.  We can't control them, nor alter their appearance.  But there are some things we can control, and it's ok to stand up for yourself. 

Sometimes I find that I take a step back and just let things happen around me and keep my mouth shut to spare others feelings, then other things I take hold of and won't let go.  I can't seem to find that happy medium of knowing what to hold on to and what to let go. 

I have never been afraid to voice my opinion before, but sometimes I keep it in because I think it's a waste of breath.

Today, I will say what is on my mind, because that is my right.  It is especially important to voice my concerns when it can be the difference between helping save a life, or letting it slip away.

I am tired of standing idly by while I watch someone I love hurt themselves and watch others enable. They may not know what is really happening so it's my obligation to make it known.  So today I will let those in my life know what is hurting me, what is hurting my family and why.  It's ok, because that's what's best for me and mine.  I will not suppress my best interests to conserve the feelings of another.  I have to do what's right for me and my family.  I don't want to cause anguish to anyone else, so I will do it in as cordial of a manner as I can and still get out what needs to be said.  Sorry if anyone is offended...it is what it is.

Admitting

Admitting when you're wrong is an art...a skill...a learned behavior.  Admitting when you're wrong is so terrifying and difficult....for EVERYONE!

Why is it so hard to do, when we know how great we will feel once we do it?  This is something I am not good at, just ask my co-workers....but it's definitely something I have tried to hone in on in the last 2 years. 

It is quite a gratifying and fulfilling feeling that follows once you can surrender to the pride and just say, "you're right, I'm wrong, I'm so sorry." 

I have gotten a lot better at admitting, apologizing and trying to move on....although the third part is the hardest for me, and I have definitely not mastered it.  I can admit and apologize, yet the moving on portion is an act on my part I guess.

I can pretend I am moving on and go through the motions, but deep down inside....I'm still holding on to the guilt of what I'm admitting and apologizing for.  A wise woman told me today that holding on to that guilt is not necessary.  I don't have to do that.  I can let go and let God hold it for me, I don't have to let the guilt define me. 

That is my focus today, not letting the guilt of those things that have passed define who I am today or tomorrow.  I can live a new day tomorrow. 

So there, I have admitted something today.  I am not good at admitting and following through with that important step by actually moving on .....for real moving on.

Thanks for your support fellow bloggers!

Cinco de Mayo

I know some of you celebrate Cinco de Mayo by just using it as an excuse to get drunk.  That's fine if that's what you enjoy...but don't forget that it is destroying your brain and your ability to have real emotions.  Google it.

My discussion is not going to focus on this however, it will focus on humility.

Humility can be hard to understand.  What is humility?

hu·mil·i·ty

/(h)yo͞oˈmilitē/

Noun A modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness.

Synonyms modesty - meekness - humbleness - lowliness - submission I was taught at a young age and into adulthood that it is right to place other's wants and needs above my own.  So that is what I do by default.  In my mind humility is taking care of everyone else despite my own needs, wants and feelings. But what I've learned over time is that by putting everyone ahead of my own needs is actually self degrading.  I need to set boundaries for myself so that I can put into perspective what is and what isn't my responsibility.  I am only responsible for myself.  That doesn't mean I need to degrade anyone else in the process.  It's a fine line to draw in the sand, and it's difficult to manage.  Today I will do something for myself that I would normally put aside for someone else to enjoy. "We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life.  But we can decide what happens in us - how we can take it, what we do with it - and that is what really counts in the end." ~Joseph Fort Newton

Wake up wake up wake up it's the 1st of the Month!

Hello everyone!  Sorry it's been a few days since I posted.  I decided I would take the weekends off from blogging and only post on the week days, but my Monday and Tuesday got away from me!  But here I am on this fine Wednesday...blogging away for you all.

I don't have anything pressing too heavily on my mind today other than gratitude.  You wouldn't think one would have to work so hard to be grateful for the things they have....but most people aren't grateful from day to day.  They take things for granted. 

I, for one, am guilty of this.  I really have to put a huge focus on being grateful everyday for things in my life.  Even the little things...good or bad...I should be grateful. 

Things I can focus on being grateful for, even if I'm having a shitty day.

1. Being alive!
2. Being healthy!
3. Having a Job!
4. Having people who love me!
5. Having three healthy happy boys!
6. Having two healthy happy pugs!
7. Having food on my table!
8. Having clothing!
9. Having shelter!
10. Having a companion for life! (even if he is a pill some days :)
11. Having all my teeth, and a tooth brush/tooth paste to brush them with!
12. Having electricity!
13. Having Water!
14. Having a soft pillow/blanket and comfy bed to snuggle in!
15. Having clean under wear and a washer/dryer to keep them that way!
16. Having a computer to blog on!

the list goes on and on and on and on.  I hope I've inspired you to be grateful for those you love and the things you have....even if you don't have all the things you ever dreamed of....there are a lot of people in this world that dream for the things we take for granted and don't even have them...like clean water...or any water for that matter!

Be grateful! 

Live, Laugh Love and happy Hump day!